Once More With Feeling...

There is no such thing as "Grey Rape." The latest psychorapeapologistevilmythperpetuator is a young woman writing for the Campus Word, and her disgusting article can be read here. My response (which can also be read in the comments to the articles) was this:

Absolutely disgusting. There is nothing a woman can wear, nothing a woman can do, nothing a woman can say, and nothing a woman can drink that will ever, ever, ever excuse rape. If she says no, you stop. Not in a second, not when you're done, right then and there. You want to think she's a tease or a bitch? You're problem. Sex is not the same thing as rape. There is no blurry line. Unless you get enthusiastic consent, and maintain enthusiastic consent, do not proceed. The only people who are responsible for rape are rapists. You don't want to be accused of rape? Then don't rape. If she looks too drunk to stand, don't have sex with her. If she can hardly talk, don't have sex with her. If she looks like she's unconscious or falling asleep, do not have sex with her. If you do, it's rape, regardless of how you feel about it. If she changes her mind, and you continue, it's rape. If she stops and you don't, she stopped but you didn't, if she STOPS, but you DON'T, it is RAPE. It doesn't matter if she had your penis in her mouth two seconds ago. It doesn't matter that she went up to your room with you. It doesn't matter that she took off her own clothes. If she stops, and you don't, it's rape. Not sex. Rape.

While, for once, the comments section was taken over by people who actually know what they're talking about, I'm really interested in why women are so ready to blame other women for their victimizations. Is it because it's too scary to admit that if it can happen to her, then it could happen to you, too? Is it because they've bought the idea that women are worth less than men, and so what a man wants is what he gets? Or have they bought the myth that rape is sex? And that these women are tempting their fathers/brothers/uncles/husbands/boyfriends, and deserve punishment for it? What is it? Why is it so hard for some women to stand by each other? More importantly, how can we change that?